Friday, April 12, 2013

HANDLE WITH EXTREME CARE


NO RUNNING WHILE HOLDING THESE CARDS.



TAKE A STAB TO COLLECT ALL 23.


Baseball cards never have been confused with dangerous instruments.

That is, until Topps got on this die-cut kick. Appropriate that Topps uses ''cut'' in these subset titles. You certainly will be if you're careless. You don't slab these cards; you sheath them.

Last year it was the 25-card razor-blade-like Cut Above set, which was safely completed and locked away in a gun safe. I'll risk my 10 digits to finish this year's Cut to the Chase set, which is chromed and even sharper but only 23 cards deep because of the greater danger involved. 

I'm surprised you don't need a concealed weapons permit to collect them. Try getting these through airport screening and you'll spend the night being water-boarded by two chain-smoking Feds.

There are enough polished and pointy edges to draw blood or poke an eye out. Those under 12 especially should exercise extreme caution. I count 15 sharp points on the Chase cards, up from eight on the Cut Aboves. Definitely appealing to the glass shard collector in all of us.



CUTTING EDGE CARD TECHNOLOGY.



BUT WATCH THOSE FINGERS.

Who designed these, Irwin Mainway of Mainway Toys? 

Moreover, I think in a skilled martial artist's hands, Chase cards easily could double as Ninja Stars and do equal damage. With the McDonald's hot coffee lawsuit in mind, surely a collector out there is just waiting to sue Topps for being Cut to the Bone.

A warning on the back would be a good idea. 

THRILL OF THE CHASE CAN LEAD TO BODILY INJURY: Collect with care.

Some handle poisonous snakes. Others collect die-cut cards. We get the point, Topps. They're exciting and a tad dangerous. Just remember it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.



PROTECTIVE WRAPPING INCLUDED ON THESE ...



2012 GOLDEN GIVEAWAY CARDS.



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