Sunday, April 3, 2016

CARDBOARD PIZZA

CELEBRATE OPENING DAY IN STYLE.


I'd eat crappy pizza without being guaranteed a pack of baseball cards.

Promise me some and I'll eat pizza served on a cardboard crust.

Fittingly, Topps, which for the past few years has been about as exciting as tofu, got back to the basics recently by teaming with Walmart to include a three-card pack inside some of its Marketside pre-made foods, including pizza and bread sticks.  


BUSTED ELBOW WORSE THAN BUSTED WAISTLINE.



WOULD'VE PREFERRED TABULATED STATS.



These cards aren't half-bad looking, which kind of defeats the allure of food-based oddball cards.  

The Walmart in Asheville, N.C., only had a few specially marked pizzas, including the above "Ultimate Meat Pizza'' aka ''Ultimate Dead Meat Pizza.'' 

Go big or go home, with a possible side trip to the emergency room.

Let's face it, ultimate bypass surgery might be in the cards. 

This reminds me of collecting past oddball food cards, like Kellogg's, Dairy Queen and Hostess. I survived eating that crud for cards, all in the name of completing sets. Though now in my 50s, this 50-card set seems especially daunting, requiring ingesting massive quantities of Walmart food. 


WHERE DOES THE PIZZA END AND THE CARDBOARD BEGIN?


Give me any vintage high-number quest any day, ihealth equals wealth, that is. 


CAN'T MAKE PIZZA WITHOUT DOUGH.


LOOK FOR PAPI'S PIZZAS SOON.


Hopefully, between COMC and fellow bloggers, I'll be able to turn the trick on these trick cards without risking a grabber.

It's a pizza party and you're all invited to celebrate Opening Day today!


TIP: MAKE SURE YOUR CUTTER IS SHARP.




NO TOPPING KERSHAW.



BURNISHED. GOOD VERB.


WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE COUPONS?

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